Picture Day

Well, it's fall, and since we've already seen the first hectic back-to-school weeks and the first fundraiser of the year (thankfully all cookies and pies this time), that means it's time for the second-worst day of the school year so far: picture day. (The first-worst day is the first day, obviously, as that requires not only prepwork in the form of outfit-planning and haircut-inspecting, but also marks the much-dreaded End of Sleeping In.)

Since I have children of both genders, I have two distinctly different problems with picture day.

Getting the boys ready for picture day involves mandatory showers (then mandatory second showers that actually include soap and shampoo), frantic laundering of acceptable clothing, and then crossed fingers and prayers that pictures will take place before lunch/recess/other messy or sweaty times.

Getting the girl ready for picture day is a much more intense and drawn-out experience. The evening begins with outfit selection: it is not enough, she insists, to look "normal." She needs to look "so good that the teachers will all say 'Wow, Erin, that's a great outfit for picture day!'" And apparently intends to make that happen by wearing a dress she wore to a dance two years ago that is now at least three inches too short and may or may not meet the school's dress code regarding straps/sleeves. I veto that dress; she responds by carrying in three other also-too-small dresses and exasperatedly sighing that those dresses are also "acceptable" and I should pick one of those for her to wear instead, then. I encourage a shirt-and-skirt combination, hoping to at least get her in a shirt that looks seasonally appropriate and not like I think I am sending her to a beach party. This brings about wailing that ALL OF THOSE DRESSES ARE JUST FINE and THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THAT IS "PICTURE DAY" NICE in her drawers, but she finally comes back with two "also acceptable" outfits for consideration. The first is a shirt-and-pants combo, which would be perfect if the pants were pants and not super-tight black tights that are not sufficiently covered by the lacking-in-length shirt she chose to go with them. Hoping to not get my daughter labeled a pole dancer in fourth grade, I ask to see the second outfit, which is a glorious mismatch of striped/vested shirt and poofy floral skirt. The skirt won't show in pictures, so I want to choose that one, but can no longer remember what she wore last year or when the shirt in question was purchased...I seem to recall a photo of her in purple last year...I can't be sure it's not a repeat. It's a risk I'm willing to take. I acquiesce. She takes her piles of clothing, though not her attitude, out of my room...and returns with a pile of obnoxious, non-matching hair accessories. It's as if she wants her school picture to be a visual scrapbook of all her favorite, non-related things.

But on the upside...at least she'll bathe, and I won't have to worry she'll look homeless.