Black Friday is almost here, and with it the start of the Christmas shopping season. I'm sure the relatives back home will be wanting to know what the kids would like for Christmas. I was going to let the kids write up their typical Christmas wish lists until they all started talking about wanting things like iphones and puppies. Since they aren't really operating in the realm of reality, I decided I know what they need better than they do. So--here is our family Christmas wish list:
Flying alarm clock.
I am pretty sure this is what it would take to get any of us out of bed on the first try. I normally set three alarms to ensure I get up, while the kids need to be personally escorted out of bed. Sometimes repeatedly. I think knowing that there's about to be a show going on where the boys chase a helicopter around the room would be enough to get me out of bed on the first alarm. If anyone gets this for the boys--I promise to capture the fun on video, post it on facebook, and show it to current/future/potential girlfriends.
Shoe locator.
Yes, I realize this is a link to a key locator. Apparently technology hasn't quite caught up to my children's skill in losing things, because so far the only "shoe locator" I can find is a GPS-enabled shoe that helps track lost loved ones. Since my kids' shoes don't normally wander the neighborhood on their own, but do wind up shoved behind furniture, under clothing piles, etc., I need something that tracks over shorter distances with more precision. I figure I can tie these on to their shoes race chip style. Six of them means one per kid's shoe...which is totally necessary since both shoes in a pair stand an equal chance of going rogue when the school bus is due at the corner in less than a minute.
Kids' recipe book.
Because I am so over cooking dinner every night. They're old enough to earn their keep!
Dumped clothes alarm.
I have told the kids a million times not to leave their dirty clothes dumped on the bathroom floor, or on their bedroom floor 1 foot away from their hamper. Maybe if the floor starts shrieking when the clothes hit, they'll put them where they belong?
Shovel.
To assist the kids in cleaning their rooms.
Multiplication fact CDs.
Nothing makes a car trip more fun than song after song of math facts! Erin will be especially thankful for this one as she is currently learning her multiplication facts, and so far seems to want nothing to do with multiplication facts.
Winning lottery tickets will also be happily accepted, as well as all-expenses-paid trips to boarding school. Just kidding. Maybe.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Tougher than I look
One of the great things about moving to Texas, and having my sister here, is the time I have to develop new skills that help the kids take me seriously when I give them orders. Like shooting. I'm thinking of displaying my shooting targets prominently over the TV, as an ever-present reminder that maybe they want to not watch quite so many cartoons and clean the house instead since it's clear I can back up my threats to take them out. "I brought you into this world AND I CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!" seems to strike a little more fear into the hearts of the kids when they're faced with a bullet-riddled silhouette on a target paper...
Also, lest Brian think he's the only athletic one in the house, I've taken up running again. It's always a good thing to be able to outrun the kids, and I'm up to 6 miles now at a decent pace, so if they ever decide to try to make a run for it after some offense against the household, my chances of catching them are looking pretty good. Usually I go for a few runs a week, anywhere from 2 to 6 miles, but today I've taken it a step further and completed my first Warrior Dash.
Warrior Dash is a 5k race with obstacles along the course. I wasn't too worried, since I can run double that distance fairly easily these days. My lack of upper body strength had me worried about a few of the obstacles--it's been a long time since I've tried scaling any walls or fences--but I've gotten pretty excited about adventure racing and wanted to see what I was capable of. My goal was to eventually do a Tough Mudder, and so as a preview of sorts, I tried Warrior Dash--kind of a "Tough Mudder Lite."
The race started off as a basic 5k over mostly easy terrain. We were out in the middle of the wilderness on some farm- or ranch-like property, running along a dirt path through trees. In some spots there were some pretty steep inclines and ravines, but that's apparently what "nature" is like, and it wasn't too bad. Then the obstacles started...
The first few really weren't bad at all. There was one where we had a series of waist-high walls to climb over, alternating with barbed wire to duck under--easy enough. There was a mud pit to walk through, but only my shoes were covered and as long as I went slow enough it wasn't too slippery. There was a field of tires to high-step through before coming to some wrecked cars to scramble over and then more tires on the other side. All easy. Then we came to this cargo net structure with horizontal netting that everyone was climbing over bear-crawl style. It looked easy but was actually SO. HARD. I was on my hands and knees for more of it than felt comfortable because my arms didn't want to hold my weight and my legs were rather tired from running. That one wore me out more than I expected and I wound up walking between some of the obstacles instead of running the whole way. There was also a teeter-totter-looking structure (that thankfully didn't move) where we walked up, then down, a series of angled planks. That one FREAKED ME OUT. It was up in the air and there was enough space between each plank "path" that it seemed a person who fell would fall to the ground and probably hit a few things on the way down--not fun. I started off walking but pretty soon was trying to crouch and hold on with my hands.
The obstacles that looked the worst, though, wound up being better than I expected and I felt all kinds of tough for making it through them! There was a steep incline to go up, and I got almost the whole way up before needing the available climbing rope. There was a tall cargo net structure, maybe 20 feet high (note: I'm terrible with estimating; it could have been 10 feet high or 100 feet for all I know) that looked like an inverted V--up the ropes on one side, over the top, and back down the other side. Piece of cake. The one obstacle that had me the most worried before and all through the race was the Warrior Wall...what seemed like a mile-high barrier with ropes. I am not Spiderman. I do not climb walls, or ropes, or really anything. I was pretty nervous I'd be the lame person not able to do it and having to go around. The built-in footholds were barely enough for the toes of my shoes and I had to rely on the rope to get up...and somehow I found myself at the top of the wall on my first attempt, without any trouble. After hoisting myself over the top of the wall, my feet found the ladder on the other side, and soon I was back down on the ground...wall conquered!
The best part was the final obstacle--a swim, yes swim, through mud at the finish line. We had to crawl into a pond of mud and stay under barbed wire or rope or trees (by that time I'd stopped looking at what was up there) which I soon found was deep enough that the easiest method of making my way through was the breaststroke. Through cold, slimy mud. I emerged looking like I could be a founder of Blue Man Group's dirtier-looking cover group...basically covered in what looked like brown paint from my neck to my shoes. The fire hose they had nearby got most of it off while making me look like a drowned rat in the process, but at that point, I didn't care how cold the water was, how hard it was hitting, or how much of a hot mess I looked...I had done it. I made it through the obstacles. I climbed that wall! I FINISHED WARRIOR DASH.
So watch out, kids...there may be three of you, but the one of me is toughening up!
Also, lest Brian think he's the only athletic one in the house, I've taken up running again. It's always a good thing to be able to outrun the kids, and I'm up to 6 miles now at a decent pace, so if they ever decide to try to make a run for it after some offense against the household, my chances of catching them are looking pretty good. Usually I go for a few runs a week, anywhere from 2 to 6 miles, but today I've taken it a step further and completed my first Warrior Dash.
Warrior Dash is a 5k race with obstacles along the course. I wasn't too worried, since I can run double that distance fairly easily these days. My lack of upper body strength had me worried about a few of the obstacles--it's been a long time since I've tried scaling any walls or fences--but I've gotten pretty excited about adventure racing and wanted to see what I was capable of. My goal was to eventually do a Tough Mudder, and so as a preview of sorts, I tried Warrior Dash--kind of a "Tough Mudder Lite."
The race started off as a basic 5k over mostly easy terrain. We were out in the middle of the wilderness on some farm- or ranch-like property, running along a dirt path through trees. In some spots there were some pretty steep inclines and ravines, but that's apparently what "nature" is like, and it wasn't too bad. Then the obstacles started...
The first few really weren't bad at all. There was one where we had a series of waist-high walls to climb over, alternating with barbed wire to duck under--easy enough. There was a mud pit to walk through, but only my shoes were covered and as long as I went slow enough it wasn't too slippery. There was a field of tires to high-step through before coming to some wrecked cars to scramble over and then more tires on the other side. All easy. Then we came to this cargo net structure with horizontal netting that everyone was climbing over bear-crawl style. It looked easy but was actually SO. HARD. I was on my hands and knees for more of it than felt comfortable because my arms didn't want to hold my weight and my legs were rather tired from running. That one wore me out more than I expected and I wound up walking between some of the obstacles instead of running the whole way. There was also a teeter-totter-looking structure (that thankfully didn't move) where we walked up, then down, a series of angled planks. That one FREAKED ME OUT. It was up in the air and there was enough space between each plank "path" that it seemed a person who fell would fall to the ground and probably hit a few things on the way down--not fun. I started off walking but pretty soon was trying to crouch and hold on with my hands.
The obstacles that looked the worst, though, wound up being better than I expected and I felt all kinds of tough for making it through them! There was a steep incline to go up, and I got almost the whole way up before needing the available climbing rope. There was a tall cargo net structure, maybe 20 feet high (note: I'm terrible with estimating; it could have been 10 feet high or 100 feet for all I know) that looked like an inverted V--up the ropes on one side, over the top, and back down the other side. Piece of cake. The one obstacle that had me the most worried before and all through the race was the Warrior Wall...what seemed like a mile-high barrier with ropes. I am not Spiderman. I do not climb walls, or ropes, or really anything. I was pretty nervous I'd be the lame person not able to do it and having to go around. The built-in footholds were barely enough for the toes of my shoes and I had to rely on the rope to get up...and somehow I found myself at the top of the wall on my first attempt, without any trouble. After hoisting myself over the top of the wall, my feet found the ladder on the other side, and soon I was back down on the ground...wall conquered!
The best part was the final obstacle--a swim, yes swim, through mud at the finish line. We had to crawl into a pond of mud and stay under barbed wire or rope or trees (by that time I'd stopped looking at what was up there) which I soon found was deep enough that the easiest method of making my way through was the breaststroke. Through cold, slimy mud. I emerged looking like I could be a founder of Blue Man Group's dirtier-looking cover group...basically covered in what looked like brown paint from my neck to my shoes. The fire hose they had nearby got most of it off while making me look like a drowned rat in the process, but at that point, I didn't care how cold the water was, how hard it was hitting, or how much of a hot mess I looked...I had done it. I made it through the obstacles. I climbed that wall! I FINISHED WARRIOR DASH.
So watch out, kids...there may be three of you, but the one of me is toughening up!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
